This Is a Lumina

"Urambo Tauro" (urambotauro)
03/08/2018 at 18:00 • Filed to: illuminating, brand identity, identity crisis, name games, chevrolet lumina, lumina

Oh wait, this is a “Lumina”:

Originally dubbed the “Lumina APV”, the APV designation was eventually dropped in order to (according to Wikipedia) “make the name more consistent with the cars”. WTF

This is a Lumina coupe:

So eurodynamic

This here’s a 2nd-gen Lumina:

You can still see some of the same design language in the front bumper.

But this Lumina is supposedly a “Monte Carlo”:

GTFO. That’s a Lumina coupe and you know it, GM.

This Commodore is a “Lumina”:

A RWD Lumina? What’s next, a FWD Corvette?

Here’s a newer SS version:

Don’t believe me? Zoom in on the badge. I swear I didn’t photoshop this.

I love utes, but surely Chevy could have come up with a better name for this than “Lumina”...

!!!CAPTION ERROR: MAY BE MULTI-LINE OR CONTAIN LINK!!!

Chevrolet never could make up their mind what a Lumina was supposed to be, could they. Not even from the start.

GM Y U DO DIS

DISCUSSION (32)

Wagonlife740 > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:02

You forgot the Z34.

JeepJeremy > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:09

This was a dark fucking period, man

Urambo Tauro > Wagonlife740
03/08/2018 at 18:10

File to: Lumina coupe

lone_liberal > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:12

GM liked doing shit like that, see Olds Cutlass.

Urambo Tauro > lone_liberal
03/08/2018 at 18:13

That nonsense deserves its own post.

Textured Soy Protein > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:15

My grandma drove a 1990 (or maybe 89?) Lumina sedan in the same blue as that coupe picture, from brand new, until 2008. It had 41k miles on it when she traded it in for a 2008 Pontiac G6.

WilliamsSW > lone_liberal
03/08/2018 at 18:15

I’m pretty sure that, at one point, 90% of Oldsmobile’s product offering was a ‘Cutlass’ of some sort.

Wagonlife740 > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:16

Did those Euros have the infamous (not for good reasons) 3.4 DOHC too?

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:16

A friend of mine once got super upset when I explained to him that the Hatch, coupe, and sedan Civic were all Civics, because “you can’t just call three different cars the same thing!”. I tried to tell him that’s a normal thing but he didn’t get it.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > JeepJeremy
03/08/2018 at 18:16

So many broken door handles

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:17

Would have amused me if in other countries than the US they called it a Luminia.

winterlegacy, here 'till the end > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:18

GM badge engineered their cars so much that they forgot what to name them, so they just said “fuck it” and named them all the same thing.

Wagonlife740 > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:18

Well I’ll be... Wiki says yes, it did have the DOHC. Those poor driveways.

Wagonlife740 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
03/08/2018 at 18:19

and cut-off washer fluid tanks.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:21

My mom owned a lumina like the silver one up top, but in white on tan. That car was parked on the top deck of the garage, two blocks away from the Alfred P. Murrah building when it was bombed. The shock wave rolled over the car and warped it. There’s really no better way to describe it. Despite several attempts to fix it, neither the doors nor the trunk ever sealed properly again. The wind noise was about the same whether the windows were closed or cracked open an inch. New seals made no difference. She finally got rid of it after a particularly heavy rain left several inches of water in the trunk.

Urambo Tauro > winterlegacy, here 'till the end
03/08/2018 at 18:22

I imagine that’s exactly how those meetings went.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:33

This is also a Lumina.

Kinja'd!!!

Or is it an Elumino?

Urambo Tauro > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
03/08/2018 at 18:38

It’s an awesobomination.

daender > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 18:40

Not going to lie, I did and sort do like the 80s/90s Chevys with red striping along the black body cladding and the red badges/logos. The gold bowtie does nothing for me. Blue, red, black, or GTFO.

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 19:10

I think those old Luminas, especially the coupes were attractive cars.

The second gen ones and the Luminacarlos can fuck themselves

shop-teacher > Urambo Tauro
03/08/2018 at 23:31

It really does.

shop-teacher > TheRealBicycleBuck
03/08/2018 at 23:33

Holy crap!!

Long-Voyager > TheRealBicycleBuck
03/09/2018 at 07:20

That’s crazy!

Long-Voyager > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!
03/09/2018 at 07:23

While I don’t care for the looks, the Luminacarlo was a very nice car to drive. With the 3800 it was quick and returned respectable mileage. The ride was comfortable, yet the handling was tight and responsive.

I would have never bought one, but we had a 1998 z34 given to us. I hated being seen in it, but I loved driving it.

Long-Voyager > Wagonlife740
03/09/2018 at 07:24

I don’t think all the Eurosports had the 3.4L.

Source:

Had 3 in the family at one point, they were all Eurosports, they were all 3.1Ls.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Urambo Tauro
03/09/2018 at 09:05

Kinja'd!!!

also a Lumina

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Urambo Tauro
03/09/2018 at 14:07

No comment on the dustbuster, but the Lumina sedan was a shockingly competent economy car with hilariously overstuffed seats and a super neat looking dashboard.

Kinja'd!!!

And the Z34 coupe was one of the most potent sports coupe front-drivers available at the time, even if repairing it was Mitsubishi levels of infuriating.

Kinja'd!!!